Warmups
by quizasvivamos
Summary: Noah Puckerman is like the biggest badass in the school, but he has a secret that no one knows. When a fellow glee club member begins to show interest in the new kid, can Puck keep himself from doing what he does best?


**Author's Notes: **I wrote this because I love you. No beta. Full of surprises. Hope you enjoy. ;)

* * *

"Do, Mi. Do, Mi. Fa, Mi..." Noah began to snicker. "Get it, Kurt?" He continued to plunk at the keys of the piano again, trying to suppress another fit of laughter.

Kurt groaned and rolled his eyes.

"It's 'doh', Puckerman, and for the love of god, can't we get back to practicing the song? Mr. Schue wants it polished and ready to perform by tomorrow. At least you graduated past fart noises, and I guess I should be grateful for that."

"Uh, yeah, and he does this to us every week, and I have my own extracurriculars that sure beat hanging out with you losers singing about sunshine and daisies," Puck said, stepping away from the piano.

"I'm sorry, I almost forgot that you clean pools and rob vending machines. Did you knock up any more members of the celibacy club yet?"

"You just need to get laid, Hummel," Puck shot back at him.

Kurt blushed a deep crimson, but he pulled his collar up in attempt to mask it.

"We're done here. I'll learn the song on my own." Kurt snatched up the sheet music and rose from the bench, clicking the heels of his boots together.

"Suit yourself," Noah said. "I'm out." He rose his hand to his forehead in salute before exiting through the door of the choir room.

The halls were mostly empty save for a few of the athletes and chess club nerds, and Puck didn't even bother making a stop at his locker to grab his assignments for the night. He already knew they would only sit untouched in his backpack until the next day when he would sheepishly pull out the blank pages and receive yet another zero.

Besides glee club, nothing at school really interested him, but he did have his own activities at home, something that the nerds in the glee club could never find out about. It would ruin him.

No one took him seriously as it was, and, if they did happen to find out, they probably wouldn't even believe it.

-s-

The day the new kid showed up at school was the day everything changed for Puck. After his post-practice shower, dripping wet, only a towel at his waist, and while rubbing the water out of eyes, he nearly bumped right into the little guy as he was putting on his boxing gloves, preparing to have a go at the bag.

"Whoa," Puck said. "Where did you come from?"

But he noticed that the dark-haired boy's eyes were transfixed on his own bare chest which was right at the boy's eye level.

"Earth to new kid," Puck said, waving his hand in front of his face.

"Oh - oh god, I'm s-sorry," he stuttered. The boy pulled off one of his gloves and thrust his hand forward. "Blaine. Anderson."

Puck rose his eyebrows but took the offered hand. "Noah Puckerman, but most people just call me Puck. You're new here?"

"Yeah, just transferred from Dalton Academy," Blaine said.

"That stuffy private school?"

"Um -"

"It's cool, bro. You know how to hit a bag?"

"Well enough," Blaine answered.

"Welcome to my humble abode, then. I'm about to peace out, but I guess I'll see you around." Puck waved, pulled his clothing on, and left, the smacking sound of cushioned fists against the bag echoing through the empty locker room on his way out.

-s-

He ran into the Blaine kid yet again the next day and the next day and the next, but, this time, he was in the weight room seemingly making himself at home. Blaine was working on his delts on the one machine, and Puck, deciding to take a break from the bench, sat up and watched as he caught his breath.

"Dude, are you done already? You only moved the bar like three times," Finn said.

"Shut your vagina hole and quit your whining, Finn," Puck snapped back. "I'm sorry Rachel's got your balls, and you'd rather be sucking face in her room while Hello Kitty and friends watch. Tried it. Not my thing, but to each his own. And I'd like to see you try to bench this without breaking into a sweat and crying like a little bitch."

"Find yourself another spotter. I'm out," Finn said, throwing up his hands. After grabbing his gym bag and hoisting it over his shoulder, he paused and turned back toward Puck. "Call of Duty tonight?"

"Yeah, of course." Finn smiled and they high-fived before he shuffled out, leaving the door swinging behind him.

Puck's attention was soon back on Blaine who had since moved to the leg curl machine, the one Puck tended to avoid because of how hella awkward it made him feel and for good reason. Because Blaine was really going at it, his ass up in the air as he worked his hamstrings, Puck couldn't help but notice some things that any human would. He wasn't gay, so help him god, but he wasn't blind either - although his blatant disregard for goggle wearing in science class should have left him like that girl in the poster on the wall. Blaine's ass was very round and his legs were very toned. In fact, Puck wondered why the guy was in here and what exactly he was trying to improve. He even bet that Blaine had abs that someone like Puck would kill for.

"You trying to impress someone?" Puck finally spoke up. Blaine didn't respond. "Yo, Anderson, you okay?" He stood up and walked over, stopping beside the machine. That's when he noticed the earbuds in his ears as he pumped away to the beat.

Puck reached down and tapped Blaine's shoulder causing him to lower the weights, twist around and pull the bud out of his right ear.

"I said, are you trying to impress someone? Because you spend an awfully lot of time in here, and you're not even on a team," Puck said.

Blaine wiped sweat from his face with the towel he kept on hand by his machine.

"Working out gives me a chance to clear my head. I don't play sports - I like them - but I am a dancer. It helps to be in shape," he responded.

"Oh. Got it. You any good? You should see Finn try to dance - total car wreck, but you can't look away," Puck said.

"Finn dances?" Blaine asked.

"No, but he tries." Puck laughed. "We've got this glee club here that we got roped into, and Schue places Finn on a freakin' pedestal. It's almost guaranteed that he makes an ass out of himself at least once a rehearsal - best part about it? He's our leading man."

"There's a glee club?"

"Yep. Do you sing too?"

"Yeah. I was part of an a capella group at my old school," Blaine said.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but we always need new members since everyone is always flaking or that Rachel chick scares them away. Did you wanna tag along with me to check it out? The ladies dig guys who sing."

"I'd love to," Blaine said, his eyes growing wide and shining.

-s-

"Aw man," Puck said as he scrolled down his dashboard. "I love you guys. You're so metal." He clicked to reblog a manip of Tony Stark and Logan as Wolverine and then began to scroll down again. Then he opened the document in which he had been working before his lengthy blogging break. He had just about finished his most recent story where the two saved some children from a burning orphanage before going at it in an alleyway. It was a hobby, something he never ever talked about. He was probably pretty crap at it, the writing, but it was better than dealing with life.

Checking the time, he x'ed out of tumblr and picked up a shirt he found discarded on the floor, and, after sniffing it, pulled it on, deciding that it still had a little life left in it. Today was the day he promised to bring Blaine along to glee club after school, so he had no choice but to drag his ass there and sit through classes. He could always catch up on his sleep, so it wasn't so bad.

-s-

The final bell of the day rang, and Puck lifted his head from the desk, picked up his bag, and took off with the crowd that was swiftly emptying out into the hall. He scanned the faces by the lockers until he spotted Blaine who had been standing there looking around anxiously until their eyes finally met. A broad smile stretched across Blaine's face, and Puck gestured for him to follow with a wave of his hand.

"Come on. If we get there early, you might be able to meet some of the other guys. Kurt and Rachel are always there. I swear they skip ninth period and just hang out in there putting on their own private productions of Gay Miz and that show with the green lady they talk about so much," Puck explained.

"Wicked?" Blaine asked.

"Sure. Whatever. Sometimes it's a snooze fest in there, but when Mr. Schue lets us break out the Van Halen, it can be pretty badass."

They turned the corner and arrived at the choir room door. Blaine stepped in behind Puck and gazed around at the piano, chairs, and the large trophy situated in the corner of the room. Sure enough, Rachel and Kurt were already at the piano, and Puck rolled his eyes and sighed before plopping down into one of the red plastic chairs against the back wall. Blaine, not taking his eyes off of the two at the piano, made his way to the front row of chairs and settled in.

Kurt looked up and, finally noticing Blaine, turned quickly back toward Rachel. They exchanged a look that Puck couldn't quite decipher, but he was glad when they both got up to introduce themselves to Blaine who was beginning to look more at ease.

-s-

"Dude, he's always in here now," Finn said out of the corner of his mouth.

"So what?" Puck said. "He's a dude."

"But he doesn't actually do anything in here. Just sits in the corner with his legs crossed just staring. It's kinda creepy."

"Oh, get over yourself. He's not staring at you, and everyone in here knows it. Kurt's got it bad for the new kid, see?" Puck pointed, following the direction and line of Kurt's gaze. "It's tunnel vision for sure."

"I know, but it's still weird," Finn said. "Do you think he knows? Blaine, I mean?"

Puck couldn't help it. He was his best friend, but the guy was more clueless than Brittany sometimes, and that was saying something. He began to laugh, and Finn huffed in his frustration.

"He's gay, super gay. Have you seen his bow ties and the way he dances?" Puck noticed that Finn's eyes were still fixed on Kurt, and he smirked. "Wait a minute, are you crushing on Kurt? I knew it."

"Oh, god, no," Finn spluttered. "You're an ass." He punched Puck in the arm and then ducked as Puck came back at him but missed.

"Have you seen his ass?" Puck joked.

"I'm going to pretend you never said that."

"Single Ladies, Finn. Lady Hummel left nothing to the imagination."

"What is with you?"

"Come off it, I'm only messing with you."

"Whatever."

"So you've got a problem with Kurt hanging out here, then say something to him. He's _your_ step-brother," Puck said. "But if you'll excuse me, I need to work on my guns and abs before they go all doughy. Not everyone can pull off Pillsbury spokesboy like you."

Finn stalked off, clearly pissed at Puck's lack of concern and support. In fact, Puck had been watching and keeping tabs on Hummel's not-so-subtle leering with pure amusement. As far as he could tell, the two had exchanged a few words in the choir room and in passing in the halls, but he could tell that poor Kurt was beside himself, pining and clueless. He never had a boyfriend before, Puck knew that. Not many were accepting of how Kurt was, so he couldn't blame him for not pursuing Blaine so openly. He needed some help, that was certain. And Blaine, who continued to work out with his earbuds in and his iPod cranked up, didn't seem to notice he had an audience at all.

-s-

"I ship it," Puck mumbled to himself as he climbed into his car on his way home.

Kurt and Blaine. Kurt slash Blaine. He could see it now: the two of them dancing around together through fields of clover, singing show tunes, and sharing ice cream cones and shit.

And then it hit him.

-s-

When Puck entered the choir room the following week, Mercedes, Rachel, and Kurt were huddled around a laptop looking horrified. Kurt's blush was so deep he could have been mistaken for a lobster, Mercedes wouldn't remove her hand from in front of her mouth, and Rachel was giggling uncontrollably. None of them could unglue their eyes from the screen.

He assumed his usual spot and looked on out of curiosity. But when Blaine walked in, the laptop was snapped shut with tremendous force, and Kurt suddenly appeared unusually interested in the buckle on his bag.

No one could look Blaine in the eye, and Puck realized that something fishy was going on here that he had to get to the bottom of.

"Spill it. What are you all so bent out of shape for?"

"I'm sorry, Puck." Rachel could barely hold it together and continued to giggle. "This isn't something that someone like _you_ would understand."

Puck noticed that Blaine looked uncomfortable and was fidgeting in his seat.

"I've never been so humiliated in my life," Kurt whined, covering his face.

"Come on, Berry," Puck said.

"Fine. If you must know, there's an entire online community that thinks we're fictional characters from a television show. This is insane. Some of this is way out there, but other stories are so accurate that I think I might be sick," Rachel said.

"And they - there are thousands of stories about me and - Blaine," Kurt said.

"Dalton Gay Sex Academy..."

"Between the Stacks..."

"And one just titled 'it's gay porn what else can I say?'"

"What?! But I'm not even -"

Everyone in the room turned in unison toward Blaine and looked at him just waiting for his confession.

"Alright, I am gay," he said.

"Oh puh-lease, Anderson. Everyone already knew it," Santana said, crossing her arms.

"You owe me twenty-bucks," Artie whispered to Tina who glared at him in response.

"And there's some author on here that they keep calling the 'captain of their ship'," Mercedes said. "Which just confuses me, although, there was a story about pirates."

"Butt pirates?"

"Santana -"

"I needs to read this," Santana said.

"I want to die," Kurt groaned.

Just then, Puck leaped down from the back row of seats and snatched up the laptop. He had to see this for himself. It was impossible. He never expected a little story to go so far. In fact, he was sure that it would get maybe like ten views and then be lost to the dark recesses of the internet. There was no way it would make it past the first few chapters. He thought it had been harmless, but it turned out he was oh so incredibly wrong.

Suddenly, it was like time had stopped. He couldn't do anything. His shoelace got caught on the buckle of Kurt's bag, and Puck threw his hands out instinctually to catch himself. The laptop went flying up into the air and then came crashing down onto the hard tile, smashing into pieces.

"Cut! Cut, cut! That's the _fifth_ prop you broke this week."

"I'm so sorry. God, I'm clumsy," Mark said, rubbing his arm as he pulled himself to his feet.

"Nice fall," Lea teased.

"I like your shoelaces," Chris jested with a wink.

"You're nowhere near as smooth as your character," Naya said.

"I'd like to see you try to do half the things I do on this show," Mark said. "At least they didn't make you shave your head."

"Well I need a stretch break and maybe a snack," Kevin weighed in, rising from his wheelchair.

Through a yawn, Darren managed, "I'll be in my trailer if you need me."

"You won't even make it to your trailer," Dianna quipped with a grin. "We know you too well. I'm sure we'll find you passed out somewhere by the water cooler."

-s-

The room was dim, and only the light clicking of a mouse could be heard. The man chuckled lightly, adjusting his yellow newsboy cap on his head.

"Oh, Ryan, will you come to bed already? I finally got Logan to sleep, and you have an early day tomorrow," David called over.

"And that's what you missed on Glee," Ryan said to himself with a quiet laugh as he pressed ctrl+s before closing his laptop.


End file.
